The experience of a child of God is a wonderful mystery. To himself it appears full of contradictions, and therefore the expression of that experience appears as foolishness to the natural mind, and so do the Scriptures which teach that peculiar experience of the Lord’s "peculiar people."

The first thing experienced by one who is taught of the Lord is that he is vile, and that he can do nothing good in the sight of God. He will strive and strive again to attain unto some goodness, and may be a long time in learning the truth that he can do no good thing but the result of all his efforts will be that all his goodness, like the flower of the field, withers away. He may not for a long time know that it is because the Spirit of the Lord bloweth upon him that the flower of his goodness withers, but it is true. The blowing of this heavenly wind has made him feel the goodness of the flesh withering like the grass, but it also proves him to have been born of the Spirit. (Isa. xl. 6-8; 1 Peter i. 24, 25; John iii. 8.) When the blessed Interpreter comes to this poor soul as he thus draws near to the grave, in his sorrow and desolation, and his life to the destroyers, and unto him his uprightness, shows to him that Jesus is his righteousness and salvation, then he rejoices like a child, in the surprising favor of God, who has found for him a ransom, and has delivered him from going down into the pit. (Job xxxiii. 14-30.) In this joyous season of spiritual childhood there is little or no knowledge of doctrine. He is apt to regard himself as so changed by the wonderful grace that has brought this salvation to him that he is beyond sin and out of the reach of temptation. That was my feeling the day I was baptized, and for some time after. It seemed to me that I should not be troubled by sin any more. But the truth that my flesh was still corrupt came with terrible power. When the Lord's time comes to teach his people knowledge and make them to understand doctrine, he weans them from the milk, and draws them away from the breasts, where they were having the sweet joy and comfort that belongs to the babe (Isa. xxviii. 9), and takes them into the wilderness, the wilderness of our old nature. There they learn that although this wilderness has "blossomed like the rose," and this desert has rejoiced for them, while the sunlight of God's love and joy filled their hearts, and faith and hope prevailed, yet it is a wilderness and a desert still, "where beasts of midnight howl" when the sun goeth down.

When the apostle says, "The flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other; so that ye cannot do the things that ye would,"--Gal, v. 17, he expresses a truth which is at the foundation of all true knowledge of the way of salvation, and which he carefully dwells upon in various ways in all his epistles. The natural man can easily be satisfied and pleased with what he does, bat not so the spiritual man. Even in his works of true obedience he sees' enough of self and sin to make him low and humble before God, and to cause him the more to abhor himself. While he is thankful to the Lord for the spirit of obedience, and for the liberty to walk in obedience, yet so far as his own work is concerned he cannot see the goodness and purity of motive which he desires. Indeed, so much of the depravity of his nature appears in all he does that he is often in doubt whether it is true obedience or not. "The sins of one most righteous day would sink us in despair." "The best obedience of my hands dare not appear before thy face." So the apostle says, "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God." And again, "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) dwelleth no good thing: For to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not, but the evil that I would not, that I do."--Romans vii. 18, 19. The apostle is not, of course, excusing wrong doing in saying this, nor does he intimate that he is pursuing a wrong course of conduct, as not being able to do right. He does not here contradict what he says elsewhere, "I keep under my body and bring it into subjection;" and again, "Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and unblamably we behaved ourselves among you that believe." In this and all similar declarations the apostle is giving explanation and instruction concerning the feeling of self-abhorrence and self-distrust which all of the saints have when they are spiritually minded, on account of the felt depravity of their hearts, and the consciousness of sin within them. Speaking of his own experience in this respect he tells that of all his brethren, who, when thus tried in their souls on account of their sinful flesh, cry out with him, "0 wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" Then he by inspiration speaks the words which tell the only deliverance which can be had, and which does come to every one thus tried: "I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord." Then the instruction concerning this mystery is given: "So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin." This mind is the mind or Spirit of Christ, which Paul says we have, and without which no man can be his. (1 Cor. ii. 16; Romans viii. 9.)

In the following connection the apostle explains this more fully, saying, "If Christ be in you the body is dead because of sin, but the spirit is life because of righteousness." This felt deadness of the body, including the natural mind and heart, to all that is spiritual and holy, is the cause of the great afflictions of the saints; of their doubts and questionings concerning their acceptance, and their deep sorrows and self-reproaches on account of sin, and because they cannot do the things that they would. But it is also the cause of the purest of joys that can be felt in this mortal state, whenever they are made to feel that "the spirit is life because of righteousness." Then 'they can understand that this affliction because of "the sin that dwelleth in us," is the "bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. For We i which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh."---2 Cor. iv.

It is hard to die in this sense, to be constantly reminded by experience that no good thing dwells in our flesh, and that therefore of ourselves we can do no good thing, "cannot do things that we would;" yet this is the daily experience of the saints. The more spiritual are the more of this dying they feel, and the more humble and before God, but the more also do they rejoice in spirit because the spirit is life; because Jesus is their life, and is thus pleased to manifest that life in them. Then their trust and confidence are in him, and not in themselves. The saints cannot, except when carnally minded, have gratification and comfort in any work, ever/a work of obedience, considered as their own work. They are not allowed to find their true comfort in a fleshly boasting; but when they are given faith to see and feel that they have been quickened by the Spirit in doing that work, that it is a work of obedience and righteousness because the Spirit was their life in doing it, then they are glad with a pure, spiritual gladness, and the flesh is out of sight. Instead of being exalted in their mind because this is a work which they have done, when the Lord gives them his blessed token of acceptance, and shows them that they are "greatly beloved," they will be like Daniel lying with their face in the dust, saying, "When thou spakest unto thy servant my comeliness was turned in me into corruption, and I retained no strength."

There have been times when the words of Paul, "In me (that is, in my flesh) there dwelleth no good thing," have come to me in my extremity as though they were new, with a glad surprise that the inspired apostle had said just what I felt, and on account of which I was tempted to doubt whether I was a child of God.

"I hate vain thoughts," said David. Those thoughts which he hated were in his own mind. What a blessing that we can hate them. The two opposing principles must be in one who hates vain thoughts, the flesh from which the vain thoughts come, and the spirit by which alone we can hate them. '"Am I as much to blame for my bad thoughts," asked a dear child of me the other day, "as I am for bad actions? I cannot help the evil thoughts." Such questions often arise in the minds of those who are older, and who have long been in the way. The bad thoughts we truly cannot help, but the Spirit can make us hate them, and can prevent them being acted out. The blame is the blame that fell on Adam, and on all of his posterity. In the experience of the redemption of our body we shall experience deliverance from this "bondage of corruption," and then we shall be satisfied. When one is led by the Spirit there will be a struggle within him to silence and put away bad thoughts as well as to avoid evil actions, but enough of sinfulness will still be felt in thought and word and deed to give the most exemplary christian daily errands to the throne of grace.

There is no work that a child of God can do in the sight of men which a hypocrite cannot do as well, so far as the observer can judge. The difference between the true work and the false lies in the motive, which men cannot see. It is on this account that true christians are so constantly trying themselves, and watching their own Works, and striving to know whether their motives are of the flesh or of the Spirit. They know that "whatsoever is not of faith is sin," and that no work is accepted of God except it is prompted by his own Spirit. There need be no fear of reiterating too often, or of dwelling too much upon the truth that no good thing dwells in our flesh, and that we cannot do the things that we would, for we cannot bring it oftener nor more fully before the children of God than they have it brought to them in their experience; and through the daily experience of this comes the experience of the glorious remedy, which fills the soul with true and unspeakable joy.

It is the saddest of all conditions for a child of God to become convinced that he can do the things that he would. So far as he feels this to be true, that far he is from Christ, and from a knowledge of his constant need of him, without whom he can do nothing that is good. It is a serious error in a teacher to teach that any one of the Lord's people can do the things that he would. It is also a serious error in any one to decide how often a gospel truth shall be repeated, and when a point of gospel doctrine shall no longer be preached or written about.

The child of God who knows his own inability, and who feels his entire dependence upon the dear Savior, will be enabled to walk in all the ordinances of the Lord's house blameless, and this gospel walk he will count as an inestimable blessing bestowed upon him, and will give God all the praise for the desire and ability so to walk, and for the peace and comfort that are found in that blessed way.

August 29, 1900.