Marriage In God's Pattern, Hindered Prayers

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.  (I Peter 3:7)

That your prayers be not hindered.  Peter was well aware of the vital significance of the home and the marriage as key ingredients to effective Christianity.  How can prayer, the most intimate fellowship between the child of God and his Lord, be hindered by a problem in the marriage?  To which I respond, how can it be otherwise?

Through over thirty years of ministering to people and trying to understand the strange course of discipleship, often with frustration trying to understand the causes for shipwrecked faith, problems in the home life seem to have been at the heart of the problem more often than any other single issue. It appears that the family, the church, and civil government are the three foundational building blocks that God has established for a constructive, moral culture.  Perhaps even the order in which I have listed these institutions is the correct order of priority.  If this be so, we should observe that cleaning up civil government, a frequent mission of many well meaning Christian groups, will not cure the moral disease of our society. Equally, we should note that institutional discipline in the church, administered exactly as taught in the New Testament, will not replace a well disciplined moral code in the individual Christian's life, especially in the marriage relationship.  If we want to improve the moral quality of our society, we must begin in the home.  Satan is well aware of this truth, for he has quite successfully eroded the sanctity of the home and of marriage over the last several generations.  Once he succeeded in this battle, he easily corrupted the moral fiber of our culture with little resistance.  In fact he has succeeded so thoroughly that a public stand for morality will draw criticism, even from the godly, that you are narrow and unrealistic.

Few things can create peace of mind and deep, moral contentment as effectively as a healthy, well-balanced marriage relationship.  Husband and wife do not have to agree on every minute detail of life, nor do they have to live in perfect 24-hour-a-day harmony.  However, they must love and respect each other as "Heirs together of the grace of life."  This thought offers the key to a strong, healthy marriage.  Life, with all of its ugliness and pain, is also full of beauty and goodness.  Grace is the basis of God's undeserved blessings upon his people, and it is here set forth as the basis for the Bible model of a good marriage.  In Ecclesiastes 9:9 Solomon urged that a man should "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun." This verse requires more than grudging fidelity; it requires joyfully sharing your life with your partner, friend, and "Help meet."

If we can look past the temporary difficulties of any particular situation in life and realize that there remains more good than bad, more joy than sorrow, more blessing than trial, we can conquer the pain of the moment with hope for something better later on.  And if we can truly believe that there is something better ahead, we can keep a strong faith in God, including continuing in prayer.  There is no greater incentive to pray than to realize that a past prayer was answered with grace and goodness.  Having a caring partner who faces the ups and downs of life with us, who loves us in bad times as well as in good, who is by our side when it seems that the whole world has caved in on top of us; when all else is in doubt, this serves as the most personal reminder of God's grace imaginable.  Ah!  How the appearance of grace encourages prayer!  Just one little spark of grace in one corner of our life, and we rejoice that God is still concerned for our good and will hear our petitions.  Herein is the incentive to prayer, based on a good marriage.

Now consider the other side of the coin.  When a marriage goes bad, the very bulwark of the soul feels invaded by the enemy; the innermost being has been violated.  The disappointed partner feels vulnerable, at risk to every loss. Such a state of mind is fertile soil for the devil to plant his poison doubts as to the very person of God in the life of this hurting, disappointed soul. If that visible, intimate partner forsook you, could it be that God has done the same?  Such a state of mind is most clearly a hindrance to effective, fervent prayer, the very point of our lesson.

At the heart of this lesson is the truth that marriage is first, and most importantly, of Divine institution, and that institution nurtures respect and appreciation for its wise Creator.  We unwisely tend to departmentalize and isolate the various portions of our lives; our religion belongs to Sunday and church, our professional skills belong in the 8 to 5 routine of the work place, and our friendships belong to those occasions when we gather with family and friends.  In this mind set how can marriage have any impact at all on our prayers?  Apparently Peter was wisely instructed to see that every part of life is linked, and, only when we integrate and accept all of the pieces and sectors of life as a complete whole, can we find the deeper roots of our faith and happiness.  A good marriage is linked to an effective prayer relationship with God?  There can be no question in the light of this verse!

May God grant us renewed and enriched dedication to the wisdom of marriage in his pattern, and the joyful excitement of an unhindered prayer relationship with him.