Adultery, Cause and Responsibility

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.  (Matthew 5:31, 32)

Frequently, the Bible presents divorce as if initiated by the husband.  It is fascinating that, two thousand years later, statistics suggest that the husband is the most frequent transgressor of the marriage vow.  While both partners often loose interest in perpetuating the marriage, somewhere in the process of dissolution, there was a time when one of the two took the initiative and led the way in the demolition of the relationship.  Of course, it is not always the man, but it is noteworthy that after so many centuries, the man is still leading the charge in this moral demolition derby.  No-fault divorce laws tend to obscure the actual dynamics that caused the divorce, so we need not look to court records for incisive answers.  Male theologians tend to illustrate the cause of divorce with examples of an unfaithful wife, but God illustrates the truth as it most often occurs.

God is fascinating!  How can anyone read the Bible perceptively and think of it as boring?
Luke 16 and Matthew 19 treat on the morality of divorce and remarriage.  This lesson deals with another dimension of the shipwrecked marriage, the cause. If we expect to improve the number of successful marriages, we must consider what God says about marital failure and liability for the pain and wrongs precipitated by a broken marriage.  Clearly, the Lord attacked the divorce-for-any-cause mentality of his day.  With unmistakable clarity he put the spotlight on the man who deserted his wife, contrasting the corrupted interpretation with the truth of God's moral code.  In the First Century a single adult woman, especially one with children, must have found survival nearly impossible.  Consequently, most divorced women married again, a matter of practical survival.  Perhaps many men looked with some disdain on these women of second marriages as careless adulterers.  Underlying their thinking appeared to be the idea that a man had the right to divorce his wife at will by simply giving her a bill of divorcement, but the wife had no such rights.

The one exception for fornication seems to relate to the Old Testament provision for an effective annulment at the inception of the marriage, Deuteronomy 22:13 21, more naturally than to infidelity later in the marriage. Once a husband and wife accepted each other as husband and wife, their marriage was accepted with God, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder," Matthew 19:6.

Where did true responsibility fall when the marriage was later dissolved? According to the prevailing notion of the day, it was on the wife for burning the bread, not seasoning with the right flavors, or similar crimes.  That remarriage constitutes adultery in the light of God's essential law is not challenged here.  The issue is responsibility and cause!  The simple grammar of the lesson says that the man who indiscriminately and irresponsibly divorces his wife causes her to commit adultery.  The word translated causeth is defined by Strong as to "Make or do (in a very wide application, more or less direct)."  This means that the man is directly responsible; he made her commit adultery!  He must bear the moral guilt for her violation!

The ethical morality established here is most often applied to the man who forsakes his wife and the marriage.  Whatever she does out of circumstance to preserve her life, and that of her children, he is marked as the responsible cause.  The same precept could apply to the wife who forsakes her husband and small children.  God never justifies double standard morality!  This lesson offers legitimate consolation to the innocent victims in divorce.  God holds the partner that abandoned the relationship accountable for the dissolution of the marriage and the subsequent misfortune of the divorced mate.  How reasonable and entirely just God shows himself to be in this lesson.  Game playing and finger pointing mean nothing to him.  He knows what happened, and he holds the truly responsible person accountable for the resultant sin.  This is no strange tenet to Bible teaching that presents a consistent pattern of accountability.  The offending party is responsible for the outcroppings of his offense.  This lesson simply applies that same equitable truth to the often twisted, tangled web of emotions that commonly accompany a divorce.  It wades through finger pointing and empty facades that blame the other party for the problem, however insignificant the other party's behavior.  Without exception, God knows who is responsible for a broken marriage, and he imposes suitable responsibility on that party.

The emotions that are stirred by divorce have been compared with the emotions of those who loose a loved-one in an untimely death.  Depression and anger of major proportions occur in both circumstances before acceptance and reconstruction can take place.  It is not likely that clear blame can, or should, always be placed by mere mortals in such an emotional and private matter as divorce.  But it is important to understand that God knows, equitably and fairly imposing the guilt of the divorce where it belongs.  Most victims of unjustified divorce are flooded with guilt and illogical self-blame, often to the extent that the experience of divorce destroys their functional activity in the church.  Conceivably, a better appreciation of both the moral significance of marriage and the fair, insightful reality of God's ability to hold the liable party to the divorce accountable would help these victims to recover their lives and their faith.